A few years ago, before I was deployed to Iraq, I bought a Bowflex Ultimate. I had every intention of tracking my fitness progress using this machine as a metric. However, I’ve given up that idea. After spending a year working out with free weights in Iraq I realized that a Bowflex simply does not provide the same quality of muscle building and muscle toning as dumbbells can.

I’ve disassembled the machine and am going to trade it in for more dumbbells. So that project, despite the fact that it is one of the most popular search results on my blog, is over. Sorry, readers. The facts are simple. A Bowflex will not give you the same quality of workout as properly used free weights.

If you’ve got a huge home gym and just want something to add variety to your routines then one of the new Bowflex models might be a nice changeup every so often. The truth is that these machines are grossly overpriced and provide only a moderate quality workout.

I am sure a few will disagree with me, but I am very pleased with the muscles I’ve been building using dumbbells routines mixed with cardio.

Warning: nearly-nude male adult below! If such material is offensive to you, please leave now. Come back in a week and this post will be safely hidden.

I’m going to be posting one collage image of me once a month for the next three months to catalogue what sort of physical changes I can achieve (or not) by following an advanced workout program with a Bowflex Extreme. I realize I’m not male model material. That’s OK. This is for educational purposes, not titallation. That’s why the smiley faces have been placed over strategic portions of my anatomy. I’ll likely blog the workout itself at some point down the road.

I have several goals with the Bowflex. I want to try and lower my blood pressure and heart rate a little bit. I have, in the past, been a half-pack a day or so smoker, and have also enjoyed many beers over the last ten years or so. Both of these activities have been curtailed as I prepare for my journey to Iraq. It’s ironic that as I prepare for entry into a hostile zone, I being taking better care of my body.

Anyhow, through minor lifestyle and dietary changes, I have dropped 15 pounds off my frame already, and the goal now is to build back some muscle where the beginnings of middle aged fat have started collecting. My chest is sadly shrunken from my Marine Corps days, so I’ll be attempting repair work in that area.

The Bowflex itself is quieting down. I was worried during my initial workout - the machine made lots of creaking noises. However, I think the cables and so forth were stiff, because the creaking was much less pronounced during this evening’s workout (which was performed clothed, I might add).

I am being somewhat loose with the weight and repitition guidelines that the i-Trainer software has recommended - I am tending towards adding a set or two sets and doubling the recommended weight.

The images below represent the starting canvas, so to speak. My wife was kind enough to snap them. In about a month I will post this collage again. While my face won’t be any prettier, I’m hoping my body itself will show improvement.

At 34, it could be worse. It could also be much better. Bowflex Grandma from the commercial has no reason to be jealous. Not yet.

I’ve taken the image down temporarily so as not to compromise the fact that I’m currently an active duty soldier. It will go back up after I am off active duty.

bowflex-initial

Originally uploaded by trevor.snyder.

I’ve completed my first workout on the Bowflex Extreme. My wife will be taking pictures of my progress over the next 90 days to show whether or not the Bowflex commercials represent anything close to reality.

I’m starting my Bowflex regimen with some initial impressions that might be helpful to people thinking about purchasing a Bowflex. There are a number of models and prices. My model is the Bowflex Extreme XTLU. After having assembled this model and performed my initial workout, I am somewhat irritated by how much time I had to spend playing with the cables. I spent about half my workout time playing around with the cable and pulley system. If I could do it over, I would probably choose the Bowflex Extreme 2, although it does cost several hundred dollars more.

Barring that, however, I was pretty happy with the quality of my workout and the included Bowflex i-Trainer software. I’ll discuss the i-Trainer software in more detail later when I have some data collected.

People these days are finding me while seeking out hot sex and non-strike anywhere matches. Enjoy the links people. I’ve quality checked them both.

Don’t ask me why handbag.com is offering sex tips. I guess there’s nothing to get you in the mood like a faux leather handbag in hot pink. And please don’t tell me that non-strike anywhere matches are making my air commuting experience any safer, because I’m likely to punch you right in your face.

I threw in this link on How to Survive a Commercial Airplane Hijacking. Couldn’t find any tips for surviving a private airplace hijacking. Apparently, private planes are better defended and we don’t need a guide.

In other news, Bowflex Grandma has dropped to a distant third on the list of ways people find this blog. I’m still planning on blogging my Bowflex experience, but will probably have to wait a year now since I’m scheduled to be in Iraq.

Yours in freedom and minarchy,

Search Terms of the Obtuse and Unknown

Well, the Bowflex is here, and has been for a while. It’s sitting in boxes, waiting for the workout room it will go in to be refurbished. We’re painting and tiling so I guess I’ll have to wait a while before I become better looking than Bowflex grandma and her friends from the commercials.

Speaking of the Bowflex commercials, I wonder how much of the cost of my Bowflex goes to pay for those people to workout on TV for me…