scribblings from a deist transhumanist libertarian minarchist citizen soldier

Being fat should be against the law

After all we’re about to implement some form of socialist health care. If I am expected to pay for your medical needs then I demand a stake in your lifestyle.

Starting the moment Obamacare passes I demand the following if you expect me to continue paying taxes:

  • Health and nutrition classes will be 25% of the public school curriculum
  • Public facilities will serve only health foods approved by government nutritionists and only in appropriate quantities
  • Immediate ban on “all you can eat” schemes
  • Smoking ban
  • Government provided nutritionists who will monitor the diet of every American
  • Obese people will go to jail until they have met weight standards
  • Anorexics and bulimics will face similar corrective measures
  • Mandatory federal oversight of restaurant menus
  • Food inspectors will visit every household in the nation on a quarterly basis to ensure compliance with government dietary guidelines
  • Unhealthy foods such as candy and cookies will be strictly rationed
  • Repeat offenders of height/weight ratios established under these mandates are subject to stomach bands and other risky control mechanisms
  • A new federal agency be formed – Department of Personal Education – DoPE would teach Americans to exercise, eat right and naturally keep the correct balance of hormones flowing
  • Restrict, by law, the number of hours Americans may watch TV, play video games or sit on a couch in any given week.
  • Mandatory genetic screening prior to copulation
  • Before having unprotected sex, Americans will get a permit
  • Permit will ensure that any offspring produced by the coitus are genetically non-problematic and therefore not a significant burden on the taxpayers
  • Violators will be housed in cells with non-violent drug offenders

    OK, now that I’ve given my demands I’m ready to proceed with Obamacare on a ten-year trial. I look forward to a weekly mandatory television address by that great American doctor-journalist Dr. Sanjay Gupta. Hopefully when Gupta becomes surgeon general the feds will use their common sense and change the position’s title to Lifestyle Czar. Gupta can head his own arm of the Department of Homeland Security and reign over our lifestyle choices and collective health care system from his DoPE palace in the magical land of Washington, D.C.

    Similar Posts:

    | Print This Post Print This Post |
    • What a wake up call to all those folks who voted for Obama. Get ready for the change, wussies!
    • @T F Stern: I like where you are going with this.
    • The govmint could install monitor cameras in the kitchen of each home aimed at the refrigerator. Each time the door is opened the department of Fat And Round Tummies (FART) would add fees to the account. There would be a sensor hooked to the bathroom scale and weight gained would have to be taxed as well. Big Brother will save us all.
    • @kitanis: This is why I don't want bureaucrats in charge of my healthcare. While I am dying of something, they will wrangle over cost/benefit ratios. No thanks. I'll take my chances managing my own plan. Unfortunately that may not be up to me since I live in a socialist country called the United States.
    • kitanis
      I am completely against the whole healhcare issue now that I have read the OMB report given to Obama. They propse to take category 8 and 9 veterans off the rolls of being eligible for Veterans Administration Health Care benfits to save money.. The report cited that "90%" of the eligible veterans have other healthcare benefits.. (8 and 9's are veterans who have no disability rating) But what about the other 10%?

      Then.. in the same report they recommend raising individual Tricare Prime rate per year for retirees to about 215% of what it is now. So essentially I will be getting a rate hike of 115% of what I pay for my health care if Obama implements the recommendations in that report.

      To give everyone a health cafe benefits I have to pay double.. that is a tax raise in my book.. so all the folks who say that a nationalized health care system will be there if I meet financial disaster.. are delusional.. Government is the disaster and will cause health care to be a assembly line operation.
    • @Mark Plus: I took the time to delete your redundant comment. In regards to Dr. Gupta having written a book on life extension tech - I didn't know so thanks for that information. You've piqued my curiousity. In regards to "self-reliance" the old adage that no man is an island is a good one. Nevertheless I don't believe I used the phrase "self-reliant" anywhere in this blog post.

      You have completely missed my main point. Perhaps this is because I am a bad writer. I'll restate my main point again in a clearer fashion - Washington, D.C. wants to limit my choices. I am not interested in a one size fits all health care system. I am not interested in a Congress managed health care system. If you want me to cooperate with a mandatory health care system, then comply with my stated demands.

      Pretty simple I thought.
    • Mark Plus
      In fairness to Dr. Gupta, he has written favorably about radical life extension technologies. Refer to his book "Chasing Life: New Discoveries in the Search for Immortality to Help You Age Less Today."

      You have also taken a very short sighted view of the health situation. A national healthcare system would come to you and your family's aid if you suffer from a financial disaster. You are nowhere near as "self-reliant" as you delusionally think yourself.
    blog comments powered by Disqus
    Powered by Wordpress | Designed by Elegant Themes