Squashed
Wednesday, 8 August 2007 | 53 readers so far
I am in Sacramento this week working on some issues in our West Coast office.
Naturally, I flew here, since it’s too far to drive for all practical purposes.
I learned an important lesson on the flight. Fat people should not be allowed to book just one seat. When a person cannot physically fit into the space alloted for them something bad happens. The person flows into other people’s space. In this case, my space was the one being invaded. If you have not ever had the opportunity to fly for five hours leaning into the aisle of a jumbo jet, I can say I do not recommend the experience. If you fall asleep, as I did, the likelihood of your head being smashed by a stewardess cart is high. The woman seated in the middle seat actually oozed around the armrest, both below and above. I could not use the armrest at all because it was physically enveloped by this lady. I actually had to scoot as far left as possible to avoid being in constant physical contact with this woman, and even pressed up against the left side of the seat, I still got contact every time this lady shifted even a tiny bit. I’m not sure how she wedged herself in to begin with.
Ms. Overflow, as I will call her, was clearly uncomfortable with the fact that she was oozing into the seats to her right and left. She spoke not a word during the entire trip. She moved very little, and each time her gargantuan mass touched me she sort of tried to suck herself back into her alloted area. It was uncomfortable for both of us.
You would think that airlines would address this problem by putting in some seats for the larger people and charging them larger fares. I will not go through such an experience again. The next time I see that I have been seated next to someone who doesn’t fit into their space, I will complain and get off the plane if necessary. It’s just not worth the discomfort involved to be literally squashed against another human for that long a period of time. I’d rather embarrass us both. And Delta should be ashamed of itself for selling someone a space too small for them to fit into. I’ve dealt with worse inconveniences in life, but those were things I had no control over. I’m not flying the obese skies again. If we can measure baggage to ensure it will all fit, we can measure the people getting on the plane too.
1 August 9th, 2007 at 12:06 am
Dale says:
Trevor,
You have misunderstood the problem, my friend.
On ships, one pays for passage. In theaters , one pays for seats. Airplanes are like ships, and not like theaters, when it comes to booking flights.
The problem is undersized seats. They are made for a man’s body and not a woman’s body (with the weight on the hips).
Even men with narrow hips and broad shoulders still rub shoulders with other men. Three burly men in one row is a lesson in contortion as each shifts to find enough space for their shoulders without any mantouching…
I say..Take it out on the airplane designers.
2 August 9th, 2007 at 1:23 am
datarat says:
ER, Looks like I’ll be taking a bus…
3 August 9th, 2007 at 5:00 am
JMarsh says:
Dale, airline manufacturers build planes with no seating. The airline itself requests the seating configuration.
I will say they’re not built for *men* either, as my shoulders poke into the aisle or over the armrests on either side, and I’m only 5′10″. I have to wedge my elbows underneath the armwrests in order to keep ‘em reigned in a bit. I stop bitching when I see a 65″ dude squeeze himself into a middle seat
4 August 9th, 2007 at 9:08 am
Gringo_Malo says:
Complaining about such a situation violates several principles of political correctness, and might get you into trouble. Walking off the plane will bring you to the attention of TSA. TSA can do all sorts of nasty things to you without any prior judicial proceeding. I’d probably just try to move to another seat that was actually empty, if one were available.
5 August 10th, 2007 at 10:16 pm
Dean says:
You are so right. Dale is just making excuses for fat people, men or women. The seats for three on a side are too small, but that’s what makes the seats cheap. Get into business class and you’ll only have to sit next to one huge person. BTW, guess it’s a lot better than being shot at in Iraq, eh?
Dean
6 August 13th, 2007 at 7:26 am
Dale says:
The seats are not cheap because there are three on a side. They are cheap because of an abundance of flights, not number of seats on a side.
And JMarsh is correct that the airlines selects the seating. Thanks for reminding me.
7 August 13th, 2007 at 7:28 pm
JMarsh says:
Heh, I had a skinny guy in the middle seat next to me today. He wasn’t particularly large framed, but felt the need to press as much of his leg and arm flesh against mine as possible. My girlfriend didn’t get as much cuddle time as this guy did.
8 August 26th, 2007 at 7:02 am
Zendo Deb says:
“I’d probably just try to move to another seat that was actually empty, if one were available.”
Have you flown anywhere recently? An empty seat? I haven’t seen an empty seat on an airplane in years. But then I fly on some of the more “popular” air routes.
9 October 13th, 2007 at 2:03 pm
Mustang says:
Or, you might say loud enough for hefty to hear, “Gosh, I sure hope I don’t barf all over myself this time.”
Or, to the stewardess, “Do you have any extra barf bags? I’m afraid one won’t be enough.”
Chances are, she’d move to another seat.