The Old Lady and the Case of the Unpalatable Pizza

I’m already a fairly cranky man. Just ask my wife. However, some people are absolutely off the deep end when it comes to being ornery. Dorothy Densmore, of Charlotte, North Carolina, is this year’s prize winner. She called 911 20 times in 30 minutes because someone refused to deliver pizze to her house.

She told dispatchers Sunday that a local pizza shop refused to deliver a pie to her south Charlotte apartment,” said Officer Mandy Giannini. “She also complained that someone at the shop called her a ‘crazy old coot,’” Giannini said.

Well, lady, all I can say is - if someone calls you a crazy old coot, you should consider whether or not you are a crazy old coot before calling 911 to report the incident.

I have a neighbor who is addicted to meth (as far as I can tell, it’s not like I share pipes with him). He gets high all the time and calls the cops to let them know I’m in a militia and that I am trying to drive him off his property. He also thinks the FBI and CIA are driving around in the mountains where I live on silent black ATVs, watching him.

Maybe I could help my neighbor make a love connection with Dorothy Densmore. They could share some pizza and the meth pipe.

It’s a wonderfully wacky world.