Date the strand, with VicPride


Chief Swiftie

Llike: Shiny things (but she’ll marry you with paper rings)

Do not like : Your little games, your inclined stage

Default mood: Happy, free, confused and lonely at the same time

Language of love: Taylor Swift song lyrics

The confession they will make: “After all I have to confess, I need you.”

Jaiden Winter

President of Vic Pride

We usually find: In the bog

Favorite weapon: Statistics Handbook. Perfect weight to swing and she can also read it to inflict emotional damage!

What gift will catch their attention: Cheese! Cheese! Cheese!

The confession they will make: “I don’t really like cheese”

The romance ends: With death, tragedy and a musical number


VicPride Executive Assistant

Love: Their dog, the books, the piano, the moths.

Favorite weapon: Which is closer, or a giant key

Language of love: Acts of service

Romantic tropic: That mysterious, quiet guy you can’t get near

Storyline plot twist: Was actually just looking for a trustworthy dog ​​sitter


Chief Editor

Default mood: Unconscious

secret power: Don’t know what’s going on

We usually find: Staring aimlessly at the wall

What gift will catch their attention: Pride and Prejudice (1995) DVD set

The confession they will make: “I have a birthmark shaped like the British Isles on my right calf.”


Illustrator, Distribution Manager, Assistant Social Media Manager

Default mood: joyful disturbing

secret power: Transforms into a mermaid when her legs touch the water

Favorite weapon: Sex toy: a blow on the head and you’re done

Romantic tropic: The trope we-only-have-one-double-bed-what-are-we-gonna-do

How long will it take to get into their hearts: If you can say his name on the first try, no time at all


Co-News Editor, Unraveled Editor

Romantic tropic: House for the holidays, Hallmark style

How long will it take to get into their hearts: She’s way too busy working to let anyone in… oh wait, that’s your great grandma’s apple pie recipe??

The confession they will make: “I hate the big city and I want to stay here with you!!”

Storyline plot twist: She was investigating corruption in this town to bring down your family

The romance ends: With her ruining your life with such skill and grace that you remain obsessed with her


Associate Arts and Culture Editor

Love: Craig’s Cookies

Red flag: The fact that he redeemed his 200 Craig’s Cookies points…

What gift will catch their attention: Craig’s Dark Chocolate Chip Cookie

The confession they will make: “You will always be second to Craig’s.”

Storyline plot twist: Craig’s Cookies closes. You become his priority.


Senior Reviewer

Love: NYT crossword, Wordle, CATS, hike, make Pinterest trip boards to avoid his real life

Do not like : When the NYT the crossword is too hard, when she has to face her real life

Default mood: Existential

secret power: If we told you, it wouldn’t be a secret – nice try!

Favorite weapon: psychological mutilation


Editorial Assistant

Do not like : Men who call their friends without irony “the boys”, the military-industrial complex, the salad (especially with vinegar), their high school experience, the strong-smelling candles

Default mood: healthy cynical 🙂

We usually find: Sneaking around stacks of Robarts, watching passers-by while standing in dark hallways 👁️👁️

Romantic tropic: hero x villain 👀

How long will it take to get into their hearts: They would love to see you try 🙂 (This is entirely an invitation to try)


Art Editor

Love: The outdoors, crime podcasts, not having repetitive strain injuries

Do not like : Trash, men talked about in crime podcasts, repetitive strain injuries

Favorite weapon: canoe paddle

The confession they will make: “I once was at a family reunion as a kid and we rented a dorm floor. In the common room of the dorm there was a microwave that had a little sticky note that said ‘don’t Don’t microwave popcorn on the popcorn setting”. Everything you guessed that happened next is correct. Less than two minutes later, a small fire started. Who would have known!? I’m sorry, A FIRE? No smoke, just a pop and suddenly my bag of popcorn was on fire. Speak without warning. I did what anyone would have done in my situation: I pretended it wasn’t my problem and left the room to play on my cousin’s DS By the time my family found the source of the smoke half the kitchen had melted and they ended up paying thousands of dollars in repairs. I blamed my cousin. He was so distraught after being lectured that he didn’t even notice I had him. brought home that year. He is 30 years old and we still persecute him for it but he denies it. However, last Christmas, aged 31, he broke down crying and admitted it was him and our whole family started cooing, patting his head and serving him extra dessert. Talk about an attention seeker and a liar!

Storyline plot twist: They are a bustling conglomeration of trash that people have left in national parks. They lied about the family reunion! They’ve never had a family before, and they haven’t wanted one either…but you…you make them rethink that.


News co-editor

We usually find: Wait for the kettle to boil

Red flag: Wear animal socks

Language of love: latin pig

What gift will catch their attention: Flowers… uh

The romance ends: When she can no longer fit you into her schedule!!!!


VicPride Executive Assistant

Do not like : outlook notification sound, tomatoes, adam sandler, essays worth 40% of course grade

secret power: Immortal until proven otherwise

Red flag: Eat olives from the jar

How long will it take to get into their hearts: 3-4 working months

The confession they will make: “I have no idea what Wordle is, and at this point I’m too scared to ask.”


Editorial Assistant

secret power: Has opinions about things you’ve never heard of in your life

We usually find: In his bed or at Gerstein’s

Red flag: Won’t message you first. Will you ghost.

Romantic tropic: Friends to lovers

How long will it take to get into their hearts: At least one year


Deputy News Editor

secret power: Write essays on books she hasn’t finished reading

Favorite weapon: Words

Red flag: Constantly brewing cups of tea, she’ll never end

What gift will catch their attention: Tulips!

How long will it take to get into their hearts: When her cats love you, so does she.


Associate Opinion Editor

secret power: Predict who will win at the Oscars

Favorite weapon: Pumps

Language of love: “Money

How long will it take to get into their hearts: two minutes and 37 seconds

The romance ends: She accidentally takes three months to respond to one of your text messages and you decide you’ve finally had enough💔


Editor failed

Do not like : More crisps?

Default mood: Gaseous 🙁

secret power: Very polite

What gift will catch their attention: You have absolutely nothing to give him. For real, she doesn’t even want anything, we swear! Don’t bring him anything! Wait, are you really not going to bring him anything?

The confession they will make: “That smell? It was me. I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry!”


Editorial Assistant

Default mood: Suction

Red flag: Follow @on_a_downward_spiral. Need we say more?

Language of love: Meticulously re-read her writings and congratulate her on it

How long will it take to get into their hearts: If you try, you’re probably already there.

The confession they will make: “I’ve already searched your name and found your Prezi slides from college. I’m not a stalker, just thorough!


Feature Editor

Love: The rush to submit something at 11:59 p.m.

Do not like : The offset which means the file has not been downloaded and it is 00:01

Red flag: the anarchist

Storyline plot twist: They break the fourth wall. (Hey, thanks for reading all that…or did you just scroll down?) It’s only a little uncomfortable.

The romance ends: Suddenly. Seriously, was that it? It seems that the developers did not have time to complete this route. (Organize game developers.)

Illustrated by Seavey van Walsum.

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